Life, The Bible, and Zach Payne

"You can take wretch and make it beautiful, can You take a wretch like me? You can take whore and make her white as snow, can You take a whore like me? Write Your name on my heart so I cannot forget." 

-Zach Payne

There's this record by a guy named Zach Payne. I don't know many people that know of Zach Payne, and if I hadn't been at the right place (Oklahoma) at the right time (March 2007) I wouldn't know who he is either. I was playing drums for a band in Oklahoma at the time and our guitar player's brother was working on this record for a guy named Zach Payne.


Commuting back and forth between Beaumont, Tx and Oklahoma City, Ok was terrible. I spent too much money on gas, too much on car repairs, and there was often too much downtime while I was there, so I wasn't playing shows, but I couldn't be home working either. But I had a great time. Played a ton of shows throughout the United States and met some really spectacular people who I'm proud to call my friends.


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Highlights include the first show I played for them. We were the opening act of a decent sized festival. We were on the bill with bands like, Reliant K, Grits, Remedy Drive (<--ok not that big of a deal), etc. I had only learned the songs at home to a cd. Then I drove the 8 hours so the band could practice twice, then we left for Iowa for the festival. Our singer got super sick and basically lost all that makes his voice good, I barely knew the songs, I was nervous of course...then I walked on stage to play at 11am in the morning to see three thousand people looking at the stage.

Looking at us.

Expecting us to be...well...good.

To say we were good would be generous. Poor singer was really sporting a raspyness reminiscent of Kathrine Hepburn, so we had to cut a couple songs, which meant to fill the time spot we would have to jam on a couple songs for longer than we'd practiced. I gooyed only one part of the entire set. And it was one of those "musician's mistakes" so regular folks wouldn't have caught it anyway. For that I'm proud. ANYWAY....




So I got myself a copy of Zach Payne's first record. Before it was "released", though that would be a generous term considering there would be no record label, no promotion, no CD's in stores...you would pretty well have to know someone who knew someone to get it anyway. I knew someone, who knew someone, who knew Zach Payne, so I burned myself a copy of it (later I got it again, only this time on Itunes).

The album (titled simply, Zach Payne) kinda blew me away. It wasn't quite modern worship music (for that I was thankful), but it was certainly thematically "Christian". Musically, the record shifted easily between indie rock, acoustic, indie whatever...There are as many real instruments used as there are programmed sounds. From anthemic U2 esque sounds to simple acoustic numbers, to elements of a drum & bass sound. Vocally, Zach Payne sounds like kinda like a broken, dirty, indie Leeland Mooring. This is a complement. There is a lo-fi quality in his singing and it's entirely refreshing.

Each song stands well enough alone, but (like most albums) the songs sounds best in context of each other.

Theologically, I have zero issue with entire record. There isn't a line in it that I couldn't sing with conviction. He takes the subject of our Christian life and breathes honesty into it without reserve.

So yesterday, I turned on this record and was reminded of all the reasons I love it. I listened to it at least 3 times yesterday and once today...so far (listening right now).

"Who can restrain the voice of Justice? Who can deny His mighty deeds? Who can bring about a charge against Him? Who will set us free from sin and death? Who will turn our shame to righteousness? Who will turn our mourning into dance?"

The themes throughout the record are close to my heart. He tackles the Sovereignty of God and his own inability do good. But it's the daily struggle I think he hits right on the head. One song he energetically sings, "I will not be silent, till praise goes before You." and on another singing, "When I'm drowning, lift my head above the wave so I can breathe."

And this is honestly, how we feel. My Christianity is certainly a roller-coaster. I get bad attitudes I lose my temper. I do selfish things. I say mean things. I think mean things. My own depravity surprises me sometimes. Truly each of us is perfectly capable of committing even the most heinous acts.

Except for one thing...one thing that prevents complete and utter hell in our hearts. And that is the faithfulness of our Lord. 

I have heard one-too-many sermons in my youth dealing with the unfaithfulness of humans. This is a given. Up and down is the way it is. It is the grace of God that we ever experience "up".

In one or two hundred (feels like) of these sermons I was told, I needed to "make a commitment...Summer camp is over and it seems some of you aren't as 'on fire' for God as you were at Summer camp!"

To which I reply, DUH. That was Summer camp. It's easy to be faithful when there's a thousand of you there for a week, all trying to see who can glorify God the most. Never, growing up, (at least not until 11th grade) did I hear a youth pastor say, "Hey guys, let's look the apostle Paul for an accurate account of what to expect from from us and from God."

So hey guys, let's look at the apostle Paul.

When Paul said in Romans, "Wretched man that I am! Who will save me from this body of death?" I don't think he was at summer camp. I don't think Paul ever went to summer camp. 

Prison, yes. Summer camp, No.

What I think, is that Paul understood that humans, even himself, are not faithful. We are not faithful to God nor each other. But God is faithful to us. Paul said,

 "So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy."

Our lives are a roller coaster because our hearts are a roller coaster. There is sanctification, and God does wonderful things to our hearts when He puts His Holy Spirit in our hearts. But like the hymn writer said, "Prone to wonder Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love."

But God is rich in mercy. God is faithful. God is good.

P.S. Summer camps are awesome. I look forward to the day I can send my children to a wonderful, solidly reformed, summer camp.

P.S.S. You can buy Zach's album here on ITUNES. He has a new record out, that's not available online (that I know of). You can write him and request a copy. Zach says every dollar he makes goes to Missions to further the Gospel and into his music fund to make more records.